What is Your Life’s Journey?
I love music. It speaks louder than any other language known to man. With or without words music can bring us to our knees and draw upon the most primal, spiritual, emotional spaces of what I can only describe as a soul. There is no greater gift to offer the world than art, one’s purest form of expression and humility. Not everyone gets to deep expression within themselves in their lifetime though many an artist tries. I want that, more than anything else, to truly put the entire spirit of my being into a tangible work that can express the entire gambit of my emotion and persona in a beautiful effigy of melody and light. That is what the idealistic child inside of me would say. The realist wishes nothing more than to tunnel headfirst into business and play with puzzles and solutions to problems with the logical part of my mind. Obsessed with music and strategy, a rare combination, I erred for years on the side of society’s tangible money. I was bred to see music as Fernandez saw clay frivolous and superficial but my heart wanted to free itself in the vocal melodies. “But working in clay, with its softness and ease of manipulation, gave her the same feeling she’d had in high school of making things that were merely artificial and pretty”(Greene 153). My life demands that I give more back I always told myself.
I spent my 20’s acquiring business skills, learning different verticals like software, non-profits and financial services. Singing karaoke in smoky bars on Wednesday nights, secretly wishing to quit everything and run off to tour the big wide world. My heart is in the music while my head is in the business. I have had to, like Fernandez, find my own way and create my own persona, if you will. Understanding that my life’s task is a combination of music and business, I reinvigorated my own musical journey with vocal lessons at 30 years old and a Bachelors degree in Music Business at 33. School at that age was much more streamlined and the impatience of youth had worn off. My heart was finally healed after years of dissention among my family. This entire process was cathartic for me. On a positive note, I learned that I was more capable than I ever truly believed myself to be when I walked across that stage, (despite my ego whom seems to think I’m ten foot tall and bulletproof). Adversely, the intricate working of our psyche can often bubble to the surface including some of the ugliness that we spit out for others to trip on. I learned that I was not handling stress well at all and while I thought I was letting it go I was in fact holding on to certain things for dear life.
First of all I need to address this concept of positive and negative lessons. If we learn from something or gain perspective I believe it is always positive. Negatively, I would say that I have a tendency to be emotional with the Naïve Perspective(Greene 147), perpetual idealism. Knowing that I am empathic and sensitive I have learned that I must keep things light in conversation but focused on the details during presentations and proper preparation for rebuttals and explanations of numbers. Social intelligence is not only understanding others and how they act and react to each other but it is about how we fit into that equation in all of our quirkiness.
Negative sides of social intelligence show that people are judgmental, they judge our appearance and our demeanor; on the plus side we can combat that with a nice pair of shoes, a great classic outfit and the poise and grace of a Master. We learned in our reading that we will encounter many fools that do not see our vision fully along the way, whether they are too preoccupied with the status quo or just arrogant. Persistence and work ethic is the only way to combat this issue, along with building your own legacy when fools can’t see the forest for the trees.
The Journey I am on is one of my own self expression as both an artist and an intellect, but more than that is a dream of helping others reach their true self expression. I am being drawn to help model a business that is revolutionary and that aids the development of each artists individual business plan through the aid of management and accountability software. Not only will I be building myself a tool but musicians will have the ability to truly change their fate with a few key strokes and consistency. In order to achieve this I must use effective communication and understand the social dynamics that evaded me in my youth. Emotions and mental filter are probably the most challenging for me to Master. It’s almost thought to mouth by pass filter. This can rub people the wrong way and it is an opportunity I always have to work on because those two combined traits can mean a wicked mental right hook for the wrong by standard. That being said I have developed an acute awareness of my flaws and tend to let my work speak for itself these days.